ozarque (ozarque) wrote,
ozarque
ozarque

This journal has been placed in memorial status. New entries cannot be posted to it.

Linguistics; verbal self-defense; Verbal Attack Pattern examples

I've kept thinking all morning that I'd find a free minute to write a post for today, but it's afternoon now and I can see that it's not going to happen. Which makes it a good time to post something I've been asked for and already have written. I've had a request -- "Please post a list of the English Verbal Attack Patterns" -- on hold for a very long time. I'll do that now, and then tomorrow I should be able to get back to metaphors.

I think the simplest solution is to post a list of verbal attacks that are examples of the patterns, which will let me avoid posting a pageful of squiggles and doodads and mathematical variables. You have the actual patterns stored in your longterm memory along with the patterns for forming questions and commands; the fact that you'll have no problem constructing additional examples will demonstrate that for you.

All those capital letters below don't mean I'm yelling at you; they're just there to mark the extra emphatic stresses. Please look at the examples as if you were looking at a batch of Petri dishes of nasty viruses. Here's the list....

1. "If you REALLY wanted to understand linguistics, YOU'D read the TEXTbook!" "If you really CARED about your health, YOU wouldn't SMOKE!" "If you REALLY cared about your grades, YOU'D get your work in on TIME!"

1a. "A person who REALLY wanted to understand linguistics would READ the TEXTbook!" "A man who REALLY wanted to get ahead in this world wouldn't DRESS like a THUG!" "A woman with any sense of decency at ALL would look after her KIDS properly!"

2. "EVen a CHILD should be able to understand THAT movie!" "EVEN somebody YOUR age should be able to balance a CHECKbook!" "EVEN an elitist like YOU should have SOME compassion for the poor!"

3. "DON'T you even CARE IF ALL THE NEIGHBORS ARE LAUGHING AT YOU?" "DON'T you even CARE about world HUNGER?" "DON'T you even CARE if you're BREAKING your father's HEART?"

4. "SOME people would REALLY BE MAD if you came to work late every day!" "SOME parents would refuse to put UP with all those four-letter words!" "SOME employers would FIRE a person who couldn't follow instructions!"

5. "You could at LEAST call your MOTHer!" "You could at LEAST keep your ROOM clean!" "You could at LEAST TRY to be civil!"

6. "WHY do you ALWAYS make me look STUPID in front of my FRIENDS?" "WHY don't you EVER think about what OTHER people might want to do?" "WHY do you NEVER try to make ME happy?"

6a. "WHY do you eat SO MUCH JUNK food?" "WHY do you spend ALL your TIME on the INTERnet?" "WHY are you SO stubborn and SO INCONSIDerate?"

7. "EVERYbody underSTANDS why you aren't able to handle your share of the WORK, dear." "EVERYbody underSTANDS why the patients are all AFRAID of you, Doctor." "Everybody in TOWN understands why you can't make FRIENDS, you know."

8. "YOU'RE not the ONLY person with PROBlems, you know!" "YOU'RE not the only patient I HAVE, you know!" "YOU'RE not the ONLY one who hates doing DISHES, you know!"

9. "EVEN if you DO lose your job, WE won't hold it against you!" "EVEN if you DO flunk, WE won't treat you any differently!" "EVEN if you DID lie about it, WE'LL still like you!"

10. "Don't tell ME you didn't know it was Friday!!" "Don't tell ME you didn't know that was supposed to be for dinner!" "Don't tell ME you thought it was okay to say that!"

11. "You KNOW I'd never tell you what to DO, dear, but if you marry that man you'll REGRET it." "You KNOW I'd never tell you how to DRESS, dear, but if you wear that SHIRT you'll be a LAUGHINGstock." "You KNOW I'd never ask you to make an exception for ME, dear, but if you DON'T lend me the money you'll never forGIVE yourself!"

12. "YOU'RE only DOING that to make me FEEL bad!" "You're only DOING that to get ATTENtion!" "YOU'RE only SAYING that because you're SCARED!"

In unseemly haste,


Suzette
Tags: verbal self-defense
Subscribe

  • Saturday; the new novel...

    I have to re-write the new novel, in longhand, from start to finish -- which will take a while. It does have to be done in longhand, and there's no…

  • Monday; the new novel...

    I'm pleased to report that the writer's block has come to an end. Apparently, all it took was a blogpost to the Magic Live Journal, and I was…

  • Wednesday; the new novel...

    Everything has been going very well with the new novel [ Alien Tongues] -- until now. But now I've hit an absolutely implacable Writer's Block.…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 46 comments

  • Saturday; the new novel...

    I have to re-write the new novel, in longhand, from start to finish -- which will take a while. It does have to be done in longhand, and there's no…

  • Monday; the new novel...

    I'm pleased to report that the writer's block has come to an end. Apparently, all it took was a blogpost to the Magic Live Journal, and I was…

  • Wednesday; the new novel...

    Everything has been going very well with the new novel [ Alien Tongues] -- until now. But now I've hit an absolutely implacable Writer's Block.…