October 26th, 2008

ozarque figure

Writing science fiction; interview 5...

October 8, 2086

"Interview with Officer Grange Kollekney," conducted by CNN-Prime's Malcolm Ndebe
Burglary at cyberdragon warehouse nets 1183 dragons

CNN-Prime:
Officer Kollekney, this is a terrible thing -- a terrible thing! Could you just briefly tell our viewers what happened last night at the Cyberdragon, Inc. Warehouse?

Officer Kollekney:
Well... You know, the whole thing was just such a surprise. I mean, the warehouse had pretty good security, but nothing spectacular. You don't really expect to have to worry about people creepy enough ... filthy enough ... to break into the vaults and steal the retired dragons.

CNN-Prime:
You're right. The whole thing is just so ... stomach-turning. But could you set that aside for a minute and just give us an account of what happened?

Officer Kollekney:
Oh ... sure. I'm sorry. Let's see... There's not much to tell. The alarms went off at the warehouse about three o'clock this morning, and we thought it was just a fluke, you know? We sent one patrol to check. And when they got there they reported back that there'd been a real break-in and all 1183 vaults were empty. Every last one of them.

CNN-Prime:
Unbelievable! Amateurs or professionals?

Officer Kollekney:
Professionals. No question. Stupid professionals, but pros for sure.

CNN-Prime:
Officer Kollekney, it's possible that some of our international viewers don't understand what "retired" cyberdragons are. Maybe you could explain that, in just a few words?

Officer Kollekney:
Yeah, sure. When you buy a cyberdragon you sign a contract and you agree never to transfer the ownership of the dragon to anyone but a biological adult child of your own. Suppose you get tired of the dragon and want to turn it off; you have only two choices. You can just put it away in a closet or in your attic ... someplace like that ... or you can turn it in to Cyberdragon, Inc. and they'll store it in a vault for you; that's a "retired" dragon, and they'll retire its ID number too.

CNN-Prime:
Can you imagine such a thing as getting tired of your cyberdragon and wanting to turn it off?

Officer Kollekney:
No. I can't. And I don't know anybody else that can. But it does happen, because there were 1183 of them at the warehouse.

CNN-Prime:
And what happens now? Where, and how, do you start looking for 1183 stolen cyberdragons, Officer?

Officer Kollekney:
Hey. No problem.

CNN-Prime:
I beg your pardon?

Officer Kollekney:
Seriously -- no problem. Every single one of them is reporting its location to Cyberdragons, Inc., nonstop, right this minute; they're programmed to do that. All we have to do is go pick them up.

CNN-Prime:
I didn't know that! And obviously, neither did the creepos that stole them! So it's not as terrible as I thought!

Officer Kollekney:
Naah. The company doesn't spread the word around about that programming, because they don't want to spread any twisted ideas -- like stealing retired cyberdragons and starting up trade in "used" ones -- around. You know? But they know there are creepos out there; they planned ahead.

CNN-Prime:
Well, I feel a lot better, Officer Kollekney! Thank you for clearing all this up for me, and for our viewers.

Officer Kollekney:
Any time.

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[The earlier cyberdragon items in this journal are at:
http://ozarque.livejournal.com/421074.html
http://ozarque.livejournal.com/423028.html
http://ozarque.livejournal.com/467355.html
http://ozarque.livejournal.com/528214.html
http://ozarque.livejournal.com/528999.html ]