May 17th, 2008

ozarque figure

Writing science fiction...

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, my first thought was to walk quickly past and pretend that I hadn't seen it.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, my first thought was "Cool! An ET trapped in a storm drain! And when I get to school I'll be able to tell everybody I saw it!"

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, I decided to call 911, but then I changed my mind, because you know? It's not safe to call attention to yourself that way. Not any more.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain I bent over and looked into its eyes and saw that it was terrified and in pain, and I thought about the Parable of the Good Samaritan for a minute. But then I thought, "That thing can't possibly be my neighbor," and I hurried away.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, my first thought was that I had to go get it loose from there, fast, but then I thought "If I get it loose, what am I going to do with it?" and I went right on past.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, it struck me that the reason it was trapped was because it had so many arms, and that there was no way it was ever going to get out. Not with all those arms. Or legs. Or whatever they were.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, I knew that it was my Christian duty to find some way to get it loose, even if it meant that I would for the rest of my life be under surveillance, and I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt so that it wouldn't get filthy and be ruined, and I headed straight for the drain.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, my first thought was that it was a very good thing that I had fourteen siblings I could call to come help me rescue it, and a good thing that I had the power of life and death over all fourteen of them, so that they couldn't refuse no matter how scared they were.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, I was so sorry. "Poor little thing!" I thought. And I immediately set up a Tripod Of Power over the drain and began feeding it energy that would draw the ET gently upward without harming it in any way.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, I reached into the drain and gathered the parts of the creature that I could reach into my arms, tenderly, and said to it, "Don't worry; I'll stay with you until help arrives," even though there was no way to know what language it spoke and I wasn't so stupid and ignorant that I expected it to be able to speak or understand English. "Shhhh.... shhhhh," I crooned to it. "Shhhhh... It's going to be all right."

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, I reminded myself that there was no way to know whether it was one of the Fallen or not, and I told myself not to be a bloody coward about that, and I called 911 and said, "Hey... there's an ET -- an extraterrestrial -- trapped in a storm drain here on Baize Avenue, and you better come quick!"

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, I sat down beside it and began untangling its tentacles one at a time, as gently as I could, because I had no idea how badly it was injured and no idea how fragile it might be, and I was terrified that I might make things worse.

When I saw the ET trapped in the storm drain, I ran as fast as I could to help it, but before I could get to the drain it had slipped away and disappeared, it was just gone, and I started screaming because I didn't know what to do next.